Grandma

Setting: Mom is in her office. Emma enters.
Emma: "I'm the mommy and you're the mommy. I'm the mommy to bear."
Mom: "If you're the mommy to bear, then I'm the grandma."
Emma leaves.
Emma: "Grandma! Come and kiss bear."

A Nemo Attempt

Story: Kimchee (a Betta Fish and recent addition to the family) made a daring yet flawed attempt for freedom. Dad poured him into a temporary home so he could clean the bowl and rocks. Then Max told dad it was 8:30 (the time Dad told him he had to go to sleep!). And Dad went to put Max to bed.
When he returned, Dad noticed Kimchee was missing from the temporary bowl on the center island!! He finally spotted the wayward fish on the carpet by the sink, looking very dead. The thought was that he was attempting the drain (kitchen sink) escape technique ala Nemo. Dad managed to get him back in the bowl after he valiantly attempted to evade capture (still able to flop around when threaten with a scoop). We’ll see if he survives the night. He is moving.

The data: He leaped a 2 inch gap of air over the lip of the bowl. Flopped at least 3-4 feat on the island and floor plus the fall of 3 feet or so from the island. Total escape time is uncertain. Estimate is anywhere from 1 to 10 minutes.

Eight Thirty Zero

Max: "Dad, can I play in my room."
Dad: "You can play in your room until 8:30. When your clock has the numbers 8-3-0 on it, it will be time to go to bed."
Later...
Max (from his bedroom door): "Dad, the clock says eight thirty zero."

Comment: Eight thirty one, Eight thirty five. Eight thirty zero makes sense!

Foster Mom and Foster Sister

Setting: The plan was to attend an adoptive family picnic this past Saturday. Mom has discussed with Max several times that he is adopted and that he had a foster family that cared for him before he came back home with us.

Mom: "We are going to an adoptive family picnic."
Max: "An adoptive family picnic? Will my foster mom and foster sister be there?"

Waterlemon

Setting: What do you call a fruit with a green shell, red innards, and black seeds?

Max: "Did you buy some waterlemon?"

Disausted

Setting: Mom, Dad, Max and Emma had a busy Saturday including 2 hours at a playground, a picnic at someones house and a birthday party for two 3 year old friends. At some point during the day:

Max: "I need to take a nap. I'm disausted!"

Shoes off

Setting: When you enter the house from the garage, you take your shoes off in the mudroom.

Note: That lesson has apparently been learned and passed on to Dora the Explorer when she comes in with her ice skates on.

Chocolate

Preface: While both kids were watching a video, Dad stealthily retrieved a special candy bar from his stash and ate it.

Setting: About 10 minutes later Emma climbs up on Dad's lap and sits down. She watches the video over Dad's shoulder.
Emma: "What's that smell?"
Dad (knowing but trying to deflect): "What smell? Maybe it's the flowers." (Roses on the counter 2 feet away.)
Emma (looking directly at Dad): "Do you smell? ... That's chocolate."

Butt

Setting: Emma was in the process of sliding off her chair after dinner.

Emma: "Do you know where did my butt go. . . It fart."

Special Note: To our knowledge this "f" word has not been used in our house. It took every ounce of Dad's control to minimize his response (laughter and amazement).

Exactly

Setting: Dad has been attempting to educate Emma on how to put her shoes on the right feet. She has a tendency to get the shoes on the wrong fee, every time. Dad had been explaining during the day how Tinker Bell on the side of her sandals should be on the outside of her foot, not on the inside.

Emma: "Tink goes on the outside."
Dad: "That's right Emma, Tinkerbell goes on the outside of your foot."
Emma: "Right, right exactly."

Too Too Good

Setting: Dad and Emma just finished sharing an apple.

Emma: "Dad, that apple was just too, too good."

Asleep

Setting: It's 9:45 pm (well past bedtime). Sounds are emmanating from Max's room.

Mom: "Max are you awake?"
Max: "No mom, I'm asleep."

Ready

Setting: Dad is reading a bedtime story to Max and Emma. Mom is making Emma's bed.

Mom: "Emma do you want to sleep upside down on your bed tonight?" (The child in question sleeps with his/her head at the foot of the bed)
Emma: "I'm not ready for that yet."

Are the cars gone?

Prologue: Max, Emma, Dad, Uncle Ed, and Tanta Anna went on a trip to downtown Minneapolis earlier in the day to visit the Stone Arch Bridge and the Mill City Museum. On the way, he asked what road we traveled on whenever there was a turn.

Setting: Max is struggling to go to bed. He calls down to Mom from behind his closed bedroom door.
Max: "Mom, is it dark yet?"
Mom: "Yes, Max. It's dark."
Max: "Are the cars gone?"
Mom: "What cars Max?"
Max: "The cars on the road."
Mom: "What road?"
Max: "On Highway 12, Highway 15, and Highway 110?" (3 of the highways we traveled on)

Broken Heart

Setting: Emma was using the play stethoscope to listen to people. She was listening to Mom's body.
Mom: "Is Momma broken?"
Emma: "No, just your heart."