Tree Skirt

Setting: Dad is placing a tree skirt around the base of the Christmas tree.
Emma: "What's that?"
Dad: "It's a tree skirt."
Emma: "That's not a skirt!!"
Dad: "It's not a skirt that little girls can where but it is a skirt for a Christmas tree."
Emma: "That's right, so the tree doesn't get cold."

Old Lady

Setting: Max takes Mom and Dad's wedding picture off the dresser and walks it over to where Mom and Dad are sitting on the bed.
Max: "Dad, who is this in this picture?"
Dad: "Max, you know who those two people are!"
Max: "It's Mom and Dad on your wedding day!"
Dad: "That's right Max."
Max: "When I'm a man, I'm going to find an old lady..."
Mom: "I was only 25 in that picture!!"

The front or the back

Setting: Emma was asking about the status of the sucker she received after we deposited money in the bank today.
Emma: "What letters did I have on my sucker?"
Mom: "On one side there was an 'A' and on the other side there was an 'S'.
Emma: "I was licking the 'S'. Was the 'S' on the front side or the back side?"

Best part of the day

Setting: At the dinner table everyone was taking turns sharing the best part of the day. After Max and Emma it was dad's turn.
Mom: "Dad, what was the best part of the day for you."
Before Dad could open his mouth...
Emma: "Spending time with me?"

Cuddle You

Setting: The family is going through the bedtime routine. Mom is reading a story. Dad is sitting behind Emma with Emma leaning against him. Dad decides to lie down.
Emma: "No Daddy! Sit up."
Dad: "I want to lie down."
Emma: "But I want to cuddle you."

A Frog

Setting: Mom is drinking a particularly toxc-looking red drink (Minute Maid Light Raspberry Passion) for lunch.
Max: If I drink all that, then Kaboom!! I'll turn into a frog."

Checking in

Emma: "So Daddy, how was your week today?"

A little bit

Setting: Dad saying good night to Emma who is already in bed.
Emma: "Dad can you sleep with me for a little bit?"
Dad: "Not tonight Emma. I need to spend a little time with Mom."
Emma: "Just for a teany little bit? Just a teany tiny little bit?"
Dad: "Not tonight Emma."
Emma: "Just a teany tiny little bit? A teany weany little bit?!"

A Fit

Setting: Mom, Max and Emma are going to a baby shower at a restaurant. Mom is reminding Max and Emma how to behave at the restaurant.
Mom: "Remember we need to use our manners. We need to say please and thank you and sit nicely at the table."
Emma: "And not throw a fit."

Which Daddy

Setting: Dad is in Kansas City for the At-Home Dads Convention. He calls home. Mom passes the phone to Max.
Dad: "Hi Max! How are you?"
Max: "Who is this?"
Dad: "Max don't you recognize my voice?"
Silence
Dad: "Max, this is Dad?"
Max: "Which Dad?"

Junk Food

Setting: The family was doing its nightly prayers. Those prayers included Auntie Joyce. After the prayers:
Max: "Auntie Joyce is really sick."
Mom: "We don't know what's wrong with Auntie Joyce, but hopefully the doctors will help figure that out."
Max: "Maybe she has a cold."
Mom: "That could be."
Max: "I know what's wrong. Maybe she ate too much Junk Food."

Disclaimer: Max has been learning how junk food is not so good for you. This is not based on data from or observation of Auntie Joyce's eating habits.

Smell something

Dad: "Emma, your nose is whistling."
Emma: "I know. I need to smell something."

Disausted

Max: "If I eat junk food, I will really feel disausted."

Note: Disausted is a condition that is strikingly similar to exhausted.

Next Year

Setting: Max is sharing a song with Auntie Claranna on the phone. After he is done Claranna is attempting to engage him in conversation.
Max: "I have to get going. I'll see you next year!"

Beauty and the man

Emma: "Mom, I am going to go up and put my dress on. I'm going to be Beauty."
Emma: "Max, do you want to dress up too, you can be the Prince."
Max: "I don't want to be the Prince."
Max: "I want to be a man. I want to go camping."