Safe during the nana

Setting: Emma requests a banana and wants is sliced with the banana slicer (Thank you, Auntie Patty).
Note: Cooper is a playmate of Emma's who was at our house two days ago.
Emma: "Did you give Cooper a nana?"
Dad: "I did."
Emma: "What a good job, Daddy!"
Emma: "What a good job keeping Cooper safe during the nana."

Twofer - a Maxism and Emmanism for the price of one

Setting: Max grabbing something off the counter.
Max: "Hey, this is mine!"..."What is this?"
Mom: "That's Chapstick. It's for chapped lips."
Emma: (from off in the distance) "No, I don't have chocolate lips!"

Big Girl

Setting: Mom, Max, and Emma at breakfast.
Emma: "ga blah, ya, ba ba." (baby talk)
Mom: "Sorry, honey, I don't understand you. Please talk like a big girl."
Setting 2: A little later
Mom: "Emma, do you want peaches in your oatmeal like Mom?"
Emma: "Yes, peaches are for big girls, Mom."

The Pizza Dude

Setting: Dad is changing Emma's diaper in her room.
Emma: "You're the pizza dude!"

All Together

Setting: Dad is took Max to school in the Silver Car because Mom was home (sick). Emma stayed with Mom. Dad also went back to school to pick Max up in the Silver Car.
Max: "Can we take the Silver Car to speech?" (Speech Therapy in the afternoon).
Dad: "I don't know Max. Emma will probably need to go with us to speech, so we'll need to take the mini-van if she comes."
Max: "Can we go all together?"
Dad: "What do you mean by all together, Max?"
Max: "Without Emma."

Can you talk louder?

Setting: Dad just parked the car at the school. Radio is still on.
Dad: "Ok, take your seatbelts off so we can take Max to school."
Emma: "Can you talk louder, I can't hear you."
Dad: "You can open your seatbelts now."
Emma: "Can you talk louder, I can't hear you."
Setting (2): Dad turns around to look at Emma seated behind him. Emma is holding her right hand against her right ear...and smiling.

Philosophy of Max

Setting: At the dinner table, Dad is expounding on the merits of eating brocolli and potatoes for Max's future.
Dad: "Eating vegetables will help you grow big and strong."
Max: "I'm too young to be big."

Grandma's lullaby

Setting: Near then end of playing out Bethlehem, Emma asks Dad to be Grandma (of the Little Red Riding Hood variety.)
Emma: "But you can't eat me."
Dad: "I can't eat you?"
Emma: "No."
Setting (part 2): Emma grabs a pillow and instructs Dad to lay on the floor. She then covers his body (upper only) with her blanket. She then starts caressing his chest while singing.
Emma (singing): "Go to sleep. You're my husband. I won't tickle you..." (Dad pretty much lost it at that point.)

On the way to Bethlehem

Setting: Max learned the story of Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem in the weeks before Christmas. He likes to act it out as well as direct others in their roles.
Max: "Mom, you're Mary."
Emma: "I'm the donkey!"
Mom: "Max who are you?"
Max: "I'm Joseph."
Mom: "Who is Dad?"
Max: "He's the Innkeeper."
Emma: "Mom, can you pick me up?" (remember Mom is Mary and Emma is the donkey)
Max: "Ok, let's go to Bethlehem. First we have to cross the big, big London Bridge, then go through the spooookkkky forest!!!..."

A Child's Lament

Setting: Finishing up the bedtime routine. Mom sees Max rubbing his eyes.
Mom: "O Honey, I think you're tired. Go give your sister a hug and a kiss."
Max: "Can I play with my toys for a little bit?"
Mom: "I don't think so... Dad?"
Dad: "No, it's late."
Max: "But I don't want to be tired."

My job

History: Henry is a "working dog". His number one job is to keep the floor clean. He does this with alacrity -- especially under the kitchen table when the kids are eating.
Setting: Riding in the car. Un-prompted.
Max: "That's my job."
Max: "My job is to talk."

Use your manners

Setting: It's Sunday morning, Max and Mom are already up and moving around downstairs. Max likes his alone time with Mom or Dad in the morning. Unfortunately for Max, Emma wakes up shortly after they get downstairs. Mom and Max at the bottom of the stairs looking upon a descending Emma:
Max: "Mom, Emma needs to go back to sleep!"
Mom: "Max, she's your sister. Be kind. Show your good manners."
Max: "Emma, please go back to sleep."

Open your mouth

Setting: During the family movie night on Saturday, Dad went upstairs to let the dog out and took the opportunity to sneak a snack. When he returned downstairs, Emma (a.k.a. "the nose") detected something was different from before. There are no lights on, just the TV images.
Emma: "Dad, open your mouth."
Dad complies
Dad: "Nothing in there."
Emma walks around to the back of the couch and reaches to turn on some lights.
Emma: "Dad, open your mouth."

California Boy?

Setting: Max is in the gym at St. Davids Preschool. A kid riding the bike runs into Max. Max's teacher, Chantelle, comforts him for a bit. He goes to Jenny, another teacher and...
Max: "Helloooo, I was run over by a bike!!!"
Jenny: "Are you ok, Max?"
Max: "Yeah, I'm fine."

Watching the Kids

Setting: Max and Emma are eating breakfast. Dad takes a quick trip upstairs to change into street clothes. When he comes down, Emma is crouched on the seat of her chair (feet on the seat) looking over at the little kids table where, yesterday, she set up her two dolls on chairs with assorted cups and plates.
Dad: "Emma, please turn around and sit down while you are eating breakfast."
Emma: "Dad, I'm watching the kids."

Too bad

Setting: Dad is pouring oatmeal from the cooking dish to a bowl for Emma. He gets some on his hand. He goes to the sink to wash it off.
Emma: "Dad, what happened?"
Dad: "I got oatmeal on my hand. I had to wash it off."
Emma: "Ohhh, that's too bad."
and as if to clarify...
Emma: "Ohhh, that's too bad for your hand."

Not to be interrupted

Setting: Max is at preschool (St. Davids). Teacher Mary comes up and hears him sing a neat song (on key of course).
Mary: "Max are you singing a song?"
Max continues to sing. After he completes the song:
Max: "Yes Mary I was singing a song."

Daddy Knows

Setting: Dad just finished fastening Emma's seatbelt and Mom is struggling a bit in fastening Max's as they get ready to go to church.
Mom: "How does this work again?"
Emma: "Daddy knows."
Comment: To her credit Mom maintained phenomonal poise and gave some very good response. Dad however was choking down the laughter that was desperately attempting to escape.

Clean Hugs

Setting: Mom came into the kitchen this morning. Max ran to give her a good morning hug. Emma was just finishing her breakfast of oatmeal. Dad had just told her to wait on getting her off her chair until he wiped her face.
Emma (to Mom): "I'll give you a hug after Dad cleans the oatmeal off my face."
Commment: Most of the EmmaNisms are not necessarily humorous. More like astounding (at least to us) because of her age (still only 2 1/2 years). I told Linda I would stop being surprised by her ability to assemble sophisticated sentences but I am failing miserably. (T)

I'm off

Setting: Max picks up a many colored pen set that is in the form of a briefcase.
Max: "So long, farewell, I am off."

Master of the Obvious

Setting: Emma is settled in her tent (see earlier post) to go to sleep. She wants her white blankie.
Dad: (as he is feeling around her in the dark for the white blankie that is in the tent somewhere) "Well where is your white blankie"
Emma: "Maybe you should turn on the light so you can see the white blankie"

Understatement

Emma is picking up on the expressive style of a typical Minnesotan.
Mom: "Emma are you ok?"
Emma: "No, no, no, I'm fine."

Tough in the Silver Car

Setting: After Dad attempts to unlatch Emma's seatbelt in the minivan, Emma insists on doing it "myself" Followed by this commentary. (remember Emma has not quite hit 2 years and 7 months old.
Emma: "The seatbelt is tough for the Silver Car." (our other car) "I can't do the Silver Car."

Not a school night

Setting: Max has a rocket ship tent in his room. On non-school nights (usually) weekends, he can sleep in the tent if he wishes (usually does). This week one of his school classes was still out for Christmas break. The following transpired last night (Tuesday) during our bedtime routine.
Max: "Mom, can I sleep in my tent?"
Mom: "No Max. Tonights a school night."
Max: "It's not a school night, it's a speech night!" (he had speech therapy today, but not his normal school class)

Max & Emma in Korean Hanboks

No return

Setting: Max is dragging a rolling backpack/suitcase with a pullup handle through the kitchen
Dad: "Max, are you going on a trip?"
Max: "No, I'm going to a meeting, but I don't believe I will be coming back."