Silence

Setting: Emma is sick, so Dad is taking Max to school solo today. Her absence has created a notable silence in the minivan.

Dad: "Hey Max, it's awfully quiet in the van today."
Max (with a slight smirk on his face): "Yep. Not a pip or a peep."

Ownership

Setting: It's breakfast time and dad is preparing lunches for the school day. He is using a new cheese slicer to cut cheese in preparation. Also Max and Emma's grandma (Omi), great grandma (Oma), and great, great aunt (Tanta Anna) are visiting.

Emma: "Dad, where did you get that cheese slicer?"
Dad: "I got it from William-Sonoma."
Emma: "Oh, that means it must be Oma's because it's got 'oma' in the name."

Moody Monday

Setting: Dad goes in to wake Max up for the start of the school week. He sits down next to Max on his bed. Max is facing away and lets out a very heavy sigh.

Dad: "Good morning, Max. Time to get ready for school."

Another heavy sigh.

Dad: "Those are some big sighs. Why are you sighing?"
Max: "I'm feeling glum."

The Forces That Bind Us

Setting: The family is walking down the hall of the elementary school after Max's Parent-Teacher conference. Max is jumping up every step along with some vocal emphasis.

Max (jumping): "Hmmmph!"
Dad: "Max, what are you doing?"
Max: "I'm trying to break gravity."

Tennessee In A Tortilla

Setting: In the eyes of Max.

Surprises

Setting: Emma is reviewing the upcoming birthdays for April at lunchtime with the family present. Specifically that of Max and Mom.

Emma: "We need to decide what to get Mom for her birthday."
Dad (deadpan but sarcastic): "I think we should get her a cane."
Emma: "Dad!!! Don't talk out loud, or it won't be a surprise!!!"

Chat Like The Animals

Setting: Max, Emma, Mom, and Dad are riding in the car. There are various discussions about what the next item on the action plan is.

Max: "Are we going to Barnes and Noble?"
Mom: "Well Dad and I are talking about what we are going to do. So give us a few minutes."
Max: "Oh, so you're going to have a Meerkat Chat."

Snack Time

Setting: Emma has felt compelled to provide Dad an afternoon snack periodically over the past few weeks. Today's creation: Fruit Snacks, Mixed Nuts, and Red Grapes served in a small bowl.

The Strength of Love

Setting: Dad is putting Emma and Max to bed.

Emma: "Dad."
Dad: "Yeah, Em."
Emma: "I love you better than stinky socks."

Note: This endearment was immediately followed by uncontrollable laughter by Emma. And several other equally profound attempts at endearments.