A Good Loser

Setting: Emma has had a hard time keeping track of her Lambie and a couple other things over the past few days.

Emma: "I'm a good loser."

Keep It Simple

Setting: Mom is struggling with Christmas gift ideas for a certain person.

Mom: "I just don't know what to get ..."
Emma: "How 'bout a hug. That would be nice."

The Ultimate (Potential) Tragedy

Setting: Max and Emma had watched the classic Rudolph movie the previous afternoon. On the way to school...

Emma: "Dad, has Christmas ever been cancelled?"

Note: For those of you who don't remember, during Rudolph, Santa was about to cancel Christmas due to a big snow storm...until Rudolph saves the day with his nose.

The Ultimate (Perceived) Letdown

Setting: The previous night Emma prayed that God would keep her smart for her next day at school. The next day after school in the car Emma is asking Dad about a song she sung at school.

Emma: "Dad, what is the name of that song we sung today?"
Dad: "Emma, I don't know, I wasn't at school with you. Do you know what it was called?"
Emma: "I don't remember" (and now the crying begins) "I prayed to God to make me smarter!! And he didn't answer my prayers!! He didn't help me remember!!!"

The Letter R

Setting: The family was returning from a Thanksgiving trip to Milwaukee. We stopped overnight in Kansas City. Emma took the hotel notepad and did the following:


Interpretation: Things that begin with R. Red Robin, Ronald Reagan, Red, Reptile, Ramp, rap rug, ring, ruf!, righteousness, rule.

Note: For those of you stunned as we were with the correct spelling of righteousness, we did notice that the hotel room's bible was open on the desk next to the pad of paper.

Both Good and Bad

Setting: The family is sitting at the dinner table. Dad is relaying a phone conversation he had that day.

Mom: "So how are things going?"
Dad: "Good and bad."
Mom: "Good and bad?"
Max (helping Mom understand): "That's bittersweet!"

Multi-purpose Tools

Setting: Upon putting Emma to bed, Mom hears the lonesome sound of a harmonica emanating from Max's bedroom. She walks in curious about the tune.

Mom: "Max, what is that?"
Max (holding up the harmonica for her to see): "It's the new welcome sign for my town."

Bragging

Setting: The family of four is in the minivan passing in front of the Walmart corporate HQ sign. There is a large, ever changing set of red LED numbers at the base of the sign. Max is trying to read the number.

Max: "369 million..."
Mom: "Max, that is actually Billions. That's a really big number isn't it? That number is the amount Walmart saved their customers this year over shopping and other retailers."
Emma: "Mom, that's bragging."
Mom: "Emma, you are right. Walmart is just trying to show how much they've helped people by saving them money."
Emma: "I understand what you are saying, but it's still bragging."

Note: This 6 year old is apparently not destined for the world of Marketing.

Very, Very, Very Loud

Setting: The family of four is finishing dinner. Max is reenacting The Nutcracker that he just saw at school today. A discussion of volume ensues.

Max: "Loud is forte. And soft is..."
Mom: "Piano. And really soft is pianissimo."
Max: "And really loud is fortissimo."
Mom: "That's right."
Max: "And really, really, really, really loud is Maxwell!"

The Play

Setting: The current developmental status of a 6 year old girl.

Emma: "Max, you want to see my new play?"
Max: "Sure. What's it called?"
Emma: "It's All About Me"

Halloween 2009

Themes: A Cowboy and A Cat Who Flies

The Carrots Are Working

Setting: The family is returning home in the minivan from a dinner out. It's dark outside.

Max (reading a book): "I love reading in the dark."

Emma turns on an overhead light.

Max: "Emma, turn that light off! I want to read in the dark!"

Champion

Setting: Emma is reading a word off of Dad's T-shirt

Emma: "Champion. That's a long name for a short word."

Milking

Setting: Emma is sitting on the bed holding her baby and putting a bottle to it's lips.

Emma: "I'm milking the baby."

Freedom?

Setting: Max, Emma, and Dad are folding and putting away laundry. Emma is with Dad while Max has made a trip to his room with a freshly folded load. Emma is in a continual stream of verbalization when this pops out of her mouth.

Emma: "Who cares if it's a free country, you still have to listen to Mom and Dad."

Household duties

Setting: Dad is laying out the list of things that have to be accomplished before Max and Emma can go off and play. The big task today is folding and putting away a big basket of laundry.

Max: "But that's just like homework."

Ever Inquisitive

Setting: It's bedtime. Dad is tucking Emma in. Dad is tired. Emma asks another question in a day of questions. Dad's non-verbal cues were detected by the ever vigilant 6 year old eyes.

Emma: "Dad, do I ask too many questions?"
Dad: "Emma, never ever stop asking questions. Questions are how you learn, so never stop asking. Sometimes, Mom and Dad, are tired and just don't have the energy to answer all your questions. It's not right but it happens. Ok?"

Brain Injury

Setting: Max is espousing solutions for the planet based his latest readings.

Mom: "Max, I am going to shatter your mind. You cannot believe everything you read or hear. What do you think of that?"
Max (with his hand to his head): "My brain is broken."

Name Pressure

Setting: Mom and Dad noticed that Emma has started signing her school papers EmmaLeeiy (Lee is her middle name). When asked why the extra letters...

Emma: "I want to be like all the other kids with long names."

Crumble

Setting: Max is talking about the passing of a favorite aunt (great aunt) over a year ago...

Max: "I miss Auntie Mary. It makes me sad. I'm so sad I could crumble like a piece of pie."

Silence

Setting: Emma is sick, so Dad is taking Max to school solo today. Her absence has created a notable silence in the minivan.

Dad: "Hey Max, it's awfully quiet in the van today."
Max (with a slight smirk on his face): "Yep. Not a pip or a peep."

Ownership

Setting: It's breakfast time and dad is preparing lunches for the school day. He is using a new cheese slicer to cut cheese in preparation. Also Max and Emma's grandma (Omi), great grandma (Oma), and great, great aunt (Tanta Anna) are visiting.

Emma: "Dad, where did you get that cheese slicer?"
Dad: "I got it from William-Sonoma."
Emma: "Oh, that means it must be Oma's because it's got 'oma' in the name."

Moody Monday

Setting: Dad goes in to wake Max up for the start of the school week. He sits down next to Max on his bed. Max is facing away and lets out a very heavy sigh.

Dad: "Good morning, Max. Time to get ready for school."

Another heavy sigh.

Dad: "Those are some big sighs. Why are you sighing?"
Max: "I'm feeling glum."

The Forces That Bind Us

Setting: The family is walking down the hall of the elementary school after Max's Parent-Teacher conference. Max is jumping up every step along with some vocal emphasis.

Max (jumping): "Hmmmph!"
Dad: "Max, what are you doing?"
Max: "I'm trying to break gravity."

Tennessee In A Tortilla

Setting: In the eyes of Max.

Surprises

Setting: Emma is reviewing the upcoming birthdays for April at lunchtime with the family present. Specifically that of Max and Mom.

Emma: "We need to decide what to get Mom for her birthday."
Dad (deadpan but sarcastic): "I think we should get her a cane."
Emma: "Dad!!! Don't talk out loud, or it won't be a surprise!!!"

Chat Like The Animals

Setting: Max, Emma, Mom, and Dad are riding in the car. There are various discussions about what the next item on the action plan is.

Max: "Are we going to Barnes and Noble?"
Mom: "Well Dad and I are talking about what we are going to do. So give us a few minutes."
Max: "Oh, so you're going to have a Meerkat Chat."

Snack Time

Setting: Emma has felt compelled to provide Dad an afternoon snack periodically over the past few weeks. Today's creation: Fruit Snacks, Mixed Nuts, and Red Grapes served in a small bowl.

The Strength of Love

Setting: Dad is putting Emma and Max to bed.

Emma: "Dad."
Dad: "Yeah, Em."
Emma: "I love you better than stinky socks."

Note: This endearment was immediately followed by uncontrollable laughter by Emma. And several other equally profound attempts at endearments.

Spring Fever

Setting: Dad and Max are taking Emma to school in the van. Max is going to stay home due to a temperature of 102+. Emma leans over to feel Max's forehead.

Emma: "Max, you are hot!"
Max: "Yeah. And I am sweating."
Emma: "That's because you have a fever."
Max: "Yeah, I have Spring Fever."

Note: On the way back from dropping Emma off, Max asked Dad what Spring Fever was.

Career Path

Setting: Mom, Dad, Max, and Emma are all riding in the car on a Sunday afternoon.

Max: "After I am a cowboy and a paleontologist, I am going to be an archeologist."
(Dad and Mom begin to lose composure in the front seat.)
Max: "I am going to learn about ancient cultures, find cities, ....(details were lost due to loss of composure)...artifacts.... Oh! Look! A loon!"

God

Setting: Dad was bringing Max and Emma back home from school in the car on a Friday afternoon. There had been no discussion of God at any time during the preceding week aside from prayers and church.

Emma (from the back seat): "Dad. How can God be in more than one person's heart?"
Dad (notably stunned and stumbling somewhat with how to approach this): "Well God is powerful enough to be in many people's hearts at one time."
Emma: "So he creates a hundred other gods?"
Dad: "No. God is a special being that can do many things all at once. He is not human or an animal, Emma."
Emma: "Well he's not a monster."
Dad: "No, he is not a monster. But he can be everywhere at once. He can listen and be in lots of peoples hearts at the same time."
Emma: "Well, how can he be in anybody's heart if he died on the cross?"

Opportunity

Setting: (January 1, 2009) Max, Emma, Mom, and Dad had just started their journey to their new home in Arkansas.

Max: "Arkansas is 'The Land of Opportunity.'"
Mom: "That's right, Max."
Max: "The opportunity to make new friends, explore new things..."

Telepathy

Setting: January 1st, 2009. The family is riding in the car to Arkansas. Max asks for the third time about watching a video.

Dad: "Max, let me finish my lunch and you guys finish yours. Then we can discuss a video."
Emma: "Dad that was what I was going say. Thank you for reading my mind."

Henry's Preferences

Setting: This actually occurred on January 1, 2009 during our long drive to Arkansas. The family was discussing the fact that it was now January in 2009.

Max: "That means Barack Obama will be our new president."
Mom: "That's right, Max. He'll be president later this month."
Emma: "Dad voted for John McCain. Mom voted for John McCain. I voted for John McCain. Max voted for Barack Obama. And Henry (dog) voted for John McCain because he follows Mom on everything."